My Womanhood Journey: Rukshana Parker

Becoming a mother changes us – it gives us the courage and inspiration to become the best versions of ourselves, and the power to protect our homes and our peace. It teaches us about balance and brings us the greatest joy! I am so honoured to share the stories of so many women and mothers – their triumphs, theirs lessons and their hopes for the future.

Interview

Can you tell us a little about who you are and what your journey as a woman has looked like so far?

My name is Rukshana and I am a 42-year-old mom to a 14-year-old daughter. I hail from the Southern Suburbs of Cape Town and thanks to my love of travel and meeting new people, I found my groove as airline crew. 

I joined LIFT in 2020 after a long innings at Comair. I started as a ground staff crew member when I was just 18 years old, now 42, I have worked my way from the ground up, quite literally! I am now a Senior Crew member on board LIFT and have had amazing experiences in the air, and on the ground in my 23 years, including being involved in the infamous surprise birth of a baby on King Shaka airbridge last year. 

My journey as a woman has been very rewarding because I have learnt so much over the years, not only in the industry but in my personal life. I finally learnt what my interests are. I had to learn how to navigate societal pressures and set boundaries for my peace. I had to learn the importance of independence at a very young age and it has really made me the strong woman I am today. 

When did you first feel a strong sense of your own womanhood? What is womanhood to you?

Five years ago I fell into a bit of depression. I sat down and thought about my life carefully, what I have been through and how I was going to make it out of this. It took a lot of hard work by healing, self-talk, reading books, disconnecting from negative people and things that no longer served me. I had to define the woman that I wanted to become. I had to learn that there will always be challenges and had to learn a new way of facing them. I learned to explore my passions and do life differently and when I look back and see how much I have grown, I never want to stop growing. At the end of the day I am really blessed and will always be grateful for where I am today. 

What does being a woman mean to you today?

Being a woman, to me, means balancing your goals with the nurturing of your family. It’s making sure you don’t hold yourself back because you are still a role model to your children. This is why it’s important to learn how to speak up, even when it’s uncomfortable, because they are watching you as you figure out this thing called life. 

How has motherhood (or the idea of family) shaped your experience of being a woman?

I learnt that it is very important to make sure that I’m okay in order for me to raise my daughter, because at the end of the day your kids look up to you as a role model and that shapes who they become. I am a single parent and have to work twice as hard and focus on quality time with my daughter.

Motherhood means trying to make the best decisions – those which are in the best interest of yourself and your children. You always have to remember it’s not just you. But being a mom does not mean that you should stop honouring your own goals and growth. Lots of women fall into that trap and stop looking after themselves. 

What values or lessons do you hope to pass on to your children or the next generation?

Integrity, compassion for yourself and others, resilience, and respect, but mostly waking up everyday with gratitude. 

The lesson is to travel as it really does open your mind up to a lot of things. The world is so big and there is so much to learn. 

Speak up for yourself and use your voice and know that your worth is not defined by other people’s opinions. Listen before you judge. Failures are stepping stones for success. 

What inspired your current path (career, creativity, or something else)?

Tourism is in our family and one of my cousins is a pilot so, naturally, I was curious about what it’s all about. 

In my personal business, I run a resin side hustle called The Creatives. I am inspired by the orders I receive; I always knew that I had talent in the creative space so with every order I receive there is a thought process and everything is made with love. 

Have you faced any challenges as a woman in your field or community? How did you overcome them?

Covid-19 hit everyone hard and that taught me to work even harder. I am very business minded so I need to use my potential to the fullest.

What’s one thing you’ve learned about yourself in the past year?

That hard work pays off. I have achieved some personal goals and that just motivated me to work harder. I also learnt that I enjoy being alone in my space and that my peace means a lot to me. I also learnt that I’m a good tennis player (lol)! 

How do you care for yourself in a world that often demands so much from women?

Knowing when to take time out and rest – we always want to do the most but we cannot function in chaos. Look after yourself by prioritsing self-care, take yourself out to eat, and just treat yourself.

Who are the women (past or present) who’ve inspired or supported you?

I’m inspired by the women in my family: my mom, my sisters, my daughter, my aunt and my cousins. They have my back – always.  

What message would you share with other women reading this today?

Life is never easy and we are always faced with challenges. It’s how we heal and learn from each challenge. Be humble and stay focused. Go, live your best life. Don’t be scared to explore the world.  Don’t be scared, period. We never make a wrong or right decision. What’s important is that we make the decision. We live and we learn. We pick ourselves up and we move. We need to stop being so hard on ourselves. Live a little. Life is really beautiful when you change your mindset. 

A favourite quote or mantra you live by?

My favourite quote is: “If you love what you do you never have to work a day in your life”.

My favourite mantra is: “I am the sender and receiver of my own reality. I meet myself in an unbroken embrace”

In Summary

Thank you, Rukshana, for sharing your story! I love how Rukshana points out the need to look after ourselves and our children as being equally important. So often, as women and mothers, we lose ourselves as we look after others but we need to remember we are setting the example for our children. We need to look after ourselves and show them what that means so that they can do it for themselves.

Here are 3 important quotes to make you think:

“Taking care of yourself doesn’t mean me first, it means me too.”

L.R. Knost

“To be a good parent, you need to take care of yourself so you can have the physical and emotional energy to take care of your family.”

Michelle Obama

“When you take care of yourself, you’re a better person for others. When you feel good about yourself, you treat others better. ”

Solange Knowles