I don’t normally write my prayers out, nor do I publish them online but today I feel impressed to do this. I am not sure why. Maybe, it will help someone. Maybe, it will lift them to look at another day with hope. Maybe, it won’t.
You see, today, I have reached the peak. The peak of my period of trial. I thought it happened a few weeks ago, with the tears and loudness but…no. Today was the peak, the peak of my volcanic mountain of trials. One after another, after another…
Today, I reached the top and…it was quiet…so quiet and a little bit lonely. Today, I knew you were with me. Today, I knew that from here on you will hold my hand as I walk through the volcanic ash to safety. You were always with me…but today I reached out and held on.
I have felt like such a failure as a mom, wife, worker, at church, out and about. Nothing I do quite works out how I had planned and when I follow your direction…well it seems that things work out worse…but I know that is just my perception. Time and time again, you have proved that while it seems worse, it is actually better. How you have blessed me…us…and them.
I just wanted you to know that I love you. I know I let you down sometimes but I know I can do anything with your help.
I just have one request today, Father, stay by me. Comfort me. Help me to help others. Help me to be strong. Help me to love and help me to accept love in return. Help me to be strong. Help me to not judge others. Help me to listen more carefully to the still, small voice and then help me to act in the direction you have laid out (no matter what).
I know at times I will get scared, confused, angry, frustrated and lost but I know if I hold on tighter…I will manage.
Thank you for friends who support me (no matter what), family that loves me (no matter what), a roof over my head during the cold season and a comfortable bed to lay my head. Thank you for the food I have eaten, I know there are some who are hungry today. Father, please bless them.
Thank you for everything. You know it all, you know my story…but most importantly, you know my heart.
As I lay my head to rest tonight, Father, please protect me and all those I love too. May I remember to always hold on tight and may morning bring perspective and renewed hope…and one last thing…
Please bless whoever is reading this. If their hearts are sore, please comfort them. If they are confused or lost, direct them. If they are tired, give them rest. I know you care…so much.
in His name